Further Sullying of a Franchise - Movies 4, 5, and 6

Okay. So unless you've been living under a rock somewhere, you have surely seen the at least one of the Mummy movies. To be honest, and much to the movie-buff side of me's chagrin, I really love these films. It probably has a lot more to do with the fact that these movies came out when I was a teenage girl who was madly in love with Brendan Fraser (loyalty since Encino Man, y'all) which somewhat shaped what adventure movies would mean to me, than them being exceptionally well made. For whatever reasons, I truly enjoy the first two movies of this series, so much so that I still watch them rather frequently. They are always the go-to movies if I just feel like watching something to entertain me but nothing around me is tickling my fancy. Fraser and Weisz have amazing chemistry, the plot is exciting, and the side characters are hilarious...not to mention the hot as hell-fire desert man from Deuce Bigelow fame.

So then there was news of the 3rd installment. At this point I was working toward my college degree, but I was just as thrilled as the first time I heard about it. Rejoicing all over the place. Then my little bubble got burst. Rachel Weisz would not be cast as Evy in this movie. My reaction to this abomination: 

Say it isn't so!!!

She was offered the role, for sure, but turned it down because of a bad script. I was really upset with this woman at first and then I saw the mistake, I mean movie, which she wisely chose not to touch with a 10 foot pole. What a piece of garbage. Not only did the plot seem completely contrived, it had hardly any continuity from the previous movies. How did Alex go from being a child around 10 to a person who looks to be 30 in the couple of years between these movies? Where did his British accent go and how did it turn into an American one while he was digging around in China? Who is the psychopath that thought replacing Weisz with Maria Bello would be in any way okay? What happened to Evy being Egyptian? For goodness sake, it seems like they didn't even try to pick someone who could hold up that part with any integrity. It just seems like they picked the first available actress who would do it for the cheapest (Maria Bello's career isn't exactly stellar so I'm sure it didn't take much at all to get her on board). Weisz was fiesty and captivating, where Bello is vanilla and honestly just seems lost in the movie. Its like Rob Cohen just wanted to crank out another film as quickly and cheaply as possible, regardless of what effect it would have on the integrity of the product he is pushing. I honestly think that if Fraser's career wasn't in such a slump he would have turned down the role as well (which I would have LOVED so we could just pick up from the 2nd movie when a director with an actual sense of what is good could take on the franchise). But no... now we are stuck trying to work around that disaster of a movie. 

What is really sad is that they already have plans for the Mummy 4: Rise of the Aztecs, with 5 and 6 waiting in the wings. Maria Bello (having nothing better to do) has already signed on for all of them. Its a tragedy. Now we all get to sit by and watch Rob Cohen run this series into the ground, taking whats left of poor Fraser's career with it. This franchise could have been really great. It would have been the Indiana Jones of my generation...now it will never live up to the potential it once had. Fraser is the only thing left breathing life into these movies, and he is the one who is going to shoulder the blame if the rest of them bomb as badly as the third because he pretty much IS the franchise....its terrible.

Someone stop this man from making anymore movies! I mean, he even supports making a xXx sequel...

The only way it could be saved is this: 

Someone take the reigns from Rob Cohen's hands. Basically pretend like the 3rd movie didn't happen, bring back Weisz, find someone (much younger and better at acting!) who could actually be Rick and Evy's son, and for the love of all things holy stop making Alex the focus of the movie. Rick is the best character. There haven't even been enough movies to start "passing the torch" to his kid yet, geez. I mean c'mon Rob Cohen, couldn't you have tried just a little bit? This movie series is going to crumble in your fingers, Rob, because you decided it was better to lose one of the MAIN TWO CHARACTERS who CARRIED the movies because you were too cheap and lazy to find better writers, and wanted to make a quicker buck than have a high quality movie which could endure for years to come.

I won't be back to watch any more Mummy movies....after that third one I doubt I'll even bother renting them. I'm happy without wasting a whole two hours of my life. I'll just have to keep watching the first two and hoping that some day, years down the line, some director will realize how much of a mistake this was and re-do the series. Here's to hoping.

WHERE DID STEPHEN SOMMERS GO?

Edit: Apparently movie execs felt the same way about Cohen's handling of the movie and have brought back Stephen Sommers (who co-wrote and directed one and two) to direct the fourth installment. However, he is going to have to handle this skillfully to have it make sense with that third one mucking everything up...and I'm still not sure if it'll be enough to make up for Maria Bello as Evy and the whole weird Alex issue...but I guess we'll see. At least with him back in charge there is a much higher chance of me wanting to watch future movies at some point (but without Rachel they really just aren't worth going to see in theaters).  

Click here to sign the petition:

 

X-ray pinups stripped to the bone

One of the year's most provocative pinup calendars features pictures that would be X-rated ... except that they're shot using X-rays. The German advertising agency Butter put together an X-ray-rated 2010 calendar to promote Eizo's high-precision displays for medical imaging. Butter's blurb notes that pinups are more often found in auto garages than medical offices. "Eizo breaks this taboo," Butter boasts. "This pinup calendar shows absolutely every detail."

The promotion made a splash on the Coloribus ad archive this month, and since then, the pinup pics have spread across the Internet like a Playboy centerfold. Bad Astronomy's Phil Plait discusses in depth how racy radiographs can get , and one of the folks at Metafilter went so far as to write Eizo an e-mail about the calendar's availability. The reply? Sorry, you can't get it here. "However, we appreciate the impact it has had on Eizo's U.S. brand recognition," the company wrote back.

Let's just hope this doesn't start a trend: We're already pushing the envelope when it comes to X-ray exposure as well as skeletal fashion models.

Article from the Cosmic Log at MSNBC

World's Largest Gummy Bear

Oh snap, y'all.

I figured all the health-conscious posts needed something totally artery-clogging and unnecessary to balance them out. This should do it.

The World's Largest Gummy Bear is the lion of the candy world. 

There is no candy more magnificent or more powerful.

 

These are real. They are awesome. You can buy them.

Here are the mind-numbing facts of this colossal candy:

• It's the equivalent of 1,400 regular sized gummy bears. 
• It is a five pound beast which packs a whopping 12,600 calories.
• It's 9.5 inches tall.
• There are 90 servings per World's Largest Gummy Bear.
• It is also Gluten Free and has a 1 year shelf life

Its monstrous size is only matched by its enormous taste. The World's Largest Gummy Bear tastes just as delicious as its pint-sized counterpart. Available in many flavors: blue raspberry, red cherry, green apple, orange, pineapple and astro. Hand-made in the USA.

We'll admit that the World's Largest Gummy Bear (aka WLGB) is both disgusting and glorious.

The World's Largest Gummy Bear is not intended for one man to eat in one sitting (unless that one man happens to be Michael Phelps). We suggest you bust it out at a party or gnaw away at it for a few months (it will last up to a year!). If eaten in appropriate amounts, the WLGB probably won't kill you : )

Beware extreme emotional attachment

While it's quite common to treat your new bundle of deliciousness like a newborn baby, we must remind you that a World's Largest Gummy Bear is specifically designed for consumption. Nothing makes it happier than being eaten.

The following activities could lead to an unhealthy relationship with your WLGB:

Do not take your World's Largest Gummy Bear sight-seeing in your Baby Bjorn.	Do not teach your World's Largest Gummy Bear to play the piano.
Do not feed your WLGB regular-sized gummy bears. WLGBs are not cannibals!	Do not put the World's Largest Gummy Bear in a crib and sing him lullabies.

Click To Order Your Own Gummy Beast

Sean Hayes - Flowering Spade

Unless you just hate getting fabulous free music dropped in your lap, download this now. I'm serious, I'm not sure how this album could disappoint anyone.

Flowering Spade - Sean Hayes

Released: 2007

1. All For Love

2. Midnight Rounders

3. Time

4. Hip Kids

5. Dolores Guerrero

6. Cool Hand

7. Baby I Do

8. Onion

9. Penniless Patron

10. Sally Ann

11. Sufidrop

12. Elizabeth Sways

13. Flowering Spade

 Click Here To Download The Full Album

This is one of the best full albums I've heard in a long time. I'll make no bones about it, this is one scruffy looking dude, so if your major appeal to music is the marketing, this might not be for you. However, if you love music that is well and thoughtfully written, this is really going to melt your butter. This album is great for a mellow night. The style is a variety of folky jazz and soul. The man is pretty much a genius on the guitar and banjo. His lyrics are sharp and the vocals are effortlessly beautiful.

If you enjoy this I highly recommend looking into its predecessor "Big Black Hole and the Little Baby Star" which is, honest to God, equally as amazing. (imho that is, lol)

Please Note: I encourage the sharing of music through mp3s for sampling purposes. If you like what you hear I must strongly suggest that you purchase music from the artists of the albums I post. I understand most people don't have a lot of money to spend on media these days, but please do what you can. The only way to keep talented musicians making great music is to support them.

Edamame Recipe

This is a fabulous recipe that comes from the New York Times. The simplicity of preparation and ingredients really lets the soybean flavor shine...in fact, I think I'll make this for dinner.

Spaghetti With Edamame, Parsley, Garlic and Olive Oil

By MARTHA ROSE SHULMAN

This is a quick pasta to throw together if you have frozen shelled edamame or peas in your freezer, and it’s a dish that I find irresistible. You can find frozen edamame at most supermarkets; the green soybeans are a terrific source of protein and isoflavones. Seek out organic edamame.

The pasta company Barilla is now making a mixed semolina and whole grain pasta called Barilla Plus that combines a grain and legume flour blend with the traditional semolina. It’s a little more expensive than regular pasta, but you’ll get more nutrition for your buck. The other ingredients here are not at all pricey. If you can’t find the whole grain pasta, this is still an easy, inexpensive and nutritious dish.

1 large garlic clove, finely minced (more to taste)
Leaves from 1 bunch parsley
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil1 1/3 cups frozen shelled edamame, preferably organic, or frozen peas
3/4 pound whole grain spaghetti if available, or regular spaghetti
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan (optional)

1. Begin heating a large pot of water for the pasta. Meanwhile, turn on a food processor fitted with the steel blade, and drop in the garlic. When it’s chopped and adhering to the sides of the bowl, stop the machine and scrape down the bowl with a spatula. Add the parsley to the bowl, and process until finely chopped. With the machine running, drizzle in the olive oil. Transfer the mixture to a large pasta bowl. (You can also use a mini-chop for this task.)

2. When the water in the pot comes to a boil, salt generously, add the edamame or peas and cook five minutes. Remove from the pot with a strainer or a slotted spoon, and place in the bowl with the parsley.

3. Add the spaghetti to the boiling water, and cook al dente following the timing instructions on the package. Checking for doneness about a minute before the stated cooking time. When the pasta is cooked, remove 1/2 cup of the cooking water and add to the bowl with the herbs and edamame or peas. Drain the pasta, and toss with the mixture in the bowl. Add Parmesan if desired, and serve.

Yield: Serves four.
Advance preparation: This isn’t a dish to do in advance, but the whole thing can be made while you’re waiting for the water to boil.

Martha Rose Shulman can be reached at martha-rose-shulman.com.

Health Food Of The Week: Edamame

So what, exactly, is edamame? There's a type soybean, called edamame, which is harvested when the plant is at a young age and is still green. Edamame is a popular food to snack on in Japan. It's only recently that the popularity of this vegetable is spreading in America. Edamame has a milky taste to it, and it's a very nutritious vegetable to snack on. Edamame health benefits are many, and more benefits are being discovered about this green soybean as time goes on. This vegetable is prepared by boiling the beans in a pot of salt water, while they're still in their pods. This way of preparing them makes them a nice side dish to any meal. They can also be taken out of their pods and can be incorporated in to salads and soups.


High in protein and fiber Just one half cup of fresh, shelled edamame contains 100 calories. They're very low in fat as well, with only two and a half grams of total fat. With 10 grams of protein, this soybean is wonderful for anyone who is a vegetarian and is looking to get more of this nutrient. The protein in edamame contains all nine essential amino acids that the body doesn't make on its own. You'll also get a good dose of fiber in a half cup of edamame. Fiber is important for a healthy digestive system, and you'll get four grams of it in edamame. Fiber is also known to lower levels of cholesterol, which can reduce the risk of heart disease. Fiber will also keep you feeling full for a longer period. Fiber is one of those nutrients that people find hard to get enough amounts of. Adding edamame will help you boost your fiber intake. Along with heart healthy fiber, edamame also contains isoflavons, which is another key component to lowering the risk of heart disease. Isoflavons are also said to lower the chances of getting breast cancer, but this issue is still up for debate. Other heart healthy nutrients in edmame include vitamin K and folate. Folate also boosts the production of red blood cells. Folic acid is particularly important to women who are pregnant. Without enough folate, the baby's spine may not develop fully and may cause other problems down the line.

Good source of calcium This is a great vegetable to boost your intake of calcium also. You can get 8% of the recommended daily amount of calcium in one half cup of edamame. Proper amounts of calcium will help avoid osteoporosis by strengthening your bones. Calcium also promotes health teeth. Many people find it difficult to get the recommended amount of calcium and rely of taking supplement to boost their intake. By adding edamame to your regular diet, you can get calcium from a natural food source rather than relying of a supplement pill.                                                           

Fights Inflammation Edamame also has anti-inflammatory properties, making it a great food to eat is you're suffering from arthritis or other inflammatory diseases. People who deal with the pain of rheumatoid arthritis, probably one of the most painful forms of arthritis can get some relief by eating edamame. This is a great food for people with asthma, as it can reduce inflammation in the breathing passages. This will result in less wheezing and coughing. Edamame is gaining popularity in the health food industry. More edamame health benefits are being discovered every day. This green soybean can be found in Oriental stores and in natural food markets. It can sometimes be found in the frozen section in regular grocery stores. Edamame is helpful with several things. These green soybean offer many benefits, and more benefits will surely be discovered.

Book Review - Nice Girls Finish Last

Its been a long time since I've read a book cover to cover in under 2 days. In a handful of hours I pretty much gobbled this book up. At first I was weary, how good could a book by someone named Sparkle Hayter really be? I envisioned a shallow book told from the perspective of a 13 year old boy-crazy, glitter heavy brat. So much for judging a book by its cover. I was delightfully surprised with this comic mystery about a Special Reports newswoman in her late 30s. Her name is Robin Hudson, with an attitude as red hot as her hair. She lives in an apartment on a rather sketchy street in New York, armed with poison ivy plants and a hot glue gun for protection. Her only room mate is her cat, Louise Bryant, whose claim to fame is larger than her own. She has to keep her sharp tongue and quick wit in check when dealing with the yuppies she must impress in the workplace. Will she discover the connection between the murder of her almost gynecologist and a ring of S&M fetishists before Aunt Maureen holds a exorcism in her honor?

Overall Grade: C+ (extremely rooted in the 90s which dates it, and nothing overtly spectacular, but definitely not a disappointment)

 Would I Recommend? Yes. A fast paced, rather easy read with humor. Excellent summer reading. Will be keeping in my personal library for the time being.

Book Review - Lady with a Laptop

           

            A second-rate novelist facilitates a beginners' creative writing workshop over the summer at a New Age center on an island off the coast of Greece. The center offers courses ranging from orgasmic consciousness,  gastric dancing, colonic massages, and shamanism. It is quite farcical with a continuous undercurrent of murder mystery. While the content is often interesting, one is put off by the subplots which are injected frequently throughout the book and then left completely open ended. The characters you want to hear more about are often under developed and the most boring ones have whole chapters dedicated to them. My biggest issue with the book was the main character. He appears to be an alter ego of the writer himself, and unfortunately there is hardly a redeeming quality about his created persona. The man has a pretentious air about him to all of his students, then spends the rest of his time lamenting his lack of recognition in the literary world or reducing every woman in the program to nothing more than sexual objects whose worth is based on the likelihood of his shagging them. He comes off as shallow and spoiled, which is not all that attractive on a middle-aged balding Englishman. If the idea is to make a dirty old man the centerpiece of the novel, he would need to be much more likable to generate any sympathy for his fate. 

Grade: D + (there are some good ideas buried in there beneath all the droning...somewhere)

Would I recommend it? Not Really. Its more of a snoozefest hidden in the guise of a greek holiday novel.

Tori Amos and Puppets

A new musical by Tori Amos and Samuel Adamson is reported to premier at the Lyttelton Theatre in 2012.

The show, based on George MacDonald’s 1864 fairy tale The Light Princess, has recently enjoyed its first workshop at the National Theatre led by Marianne Elliott.

And, as if an Amos musical wasn’t exciting enough, the workshop was said to focus around the art of puppetry, a topic of knowledge for Elliott who worked as the co-director of War Horse.

Intrigued minds may be wondering, will the eagerly anticipated musical be an amalgamation of music from a sensational American song-writer and fantastic, high-tech puppets?

If, so count me in. If not, a musical featuring the work of Amos is sure to be simply divine. Amos has sold over 15 million records worldwide and has collaborated with the likes of Trent Reznor, Michael Stipe and Maynard James Keenan.

Click the link to read the entire Article at Show and Stay

Bonnaroo 2010 - Artist of Note

Very sadly, for financial and avoidance of sun poisoning reasons, I did not get to attend Bonnaroo this year (since my stint in '04 at the tender age of 16 I have decided I will be sticking to smaller, a bit more mellow, festivals from now on). However, I did get to do the next best thing: Watch the Bonnaroo Live Feed!!! I have to say, while the image froze occasionally the audio was strong and consistent, and honestly with ticket prices these days, it completely made me feel better about not going. I got to see a lot of the artists I would have gone to see, right from the comfort of my lovely air conditioned home (and with a little hdmi cable magic I transfered it from the PC to the flat screen - now that is how you do it folks). I had so much fun watching all the talented artists like Damien Marley, Tenacious D, Nas, Tori Amos, Dave Matthews, Jay-Z, Norah Jones, Weezer, Michael Franti and even good ole John Fogerty. But I was truly impressed by one stand out performance in particular:

Regina Spektor

I've been dabbling in this girl's music for a few years now and I've had a handful of songs which I truly adore, but I'd never seen her play live. It really is an experience. She's got such a good energy about her and while she could use a little fine tuning on her stage presence, working the crowd in between songs, seeing her play is really inspiring. She's got the same essence about her that you can see in Tori Amos' early work from 90-94 (her technical skill may not be as high but her songs certainly have more of a hook to the masses), with a more diverse taste for different instruments that she actually plays herself. She played her beautiful piano for a while, then a guitar, then a piano and chair at the same time, and then the keyboard for a more electronica diddy. Needless to say, I was intrigued. As her career progresses it will really be treat to see her music evolve.  Overall the songs were light and beautiful, perfect for the summer festival atmosphere. Then there were a few really powerful beasts in there like Machine (wow...with sirens and everything), and Apres Moi with her gorgeous Russian vocals interwoven through the song (I had chills, y'all). I was just sitting here thanking God for a modern piano girl who truly knows how to compose a great song and use those strings (ala the highly talented but disappointingly under productive Fiona Apple). The feed cut off the last few songs of her set to show someone else play for a while but I'll be catching up on those last four songs I missed as soon as I get done typing away on here. 

Set List:

1. The Calculation

2. Folding Chair

3. Eet

4. Sailor Song

5. Machine

6. Laughing With

7. On The Radio

8. Better

9. Dance Anthem Of The 80s

10. Bobbing For Apples

11. That Time

12. Apres Moi

13. Poor Little Rich Boy

14. Samson

15. Us

16. Fidelity

17. Hotel Song

18. Love, You're A Whore

An mp3 of the entire show can be found here: 

http://reginaspektor.su/concerts/2010/13.06.2010%20-%20Bonnaroo.mp3

I can tell you one thing, I think its high time I throw down the money and finally get an album...this definitely won't be the last time she'll be popping up here at The Soul-Quake. Regina, you have got my attention.

What is Christianity?

It is the belief that a two-thousand-year-old jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple off a magical tree in a wonderland.

Can't Stop What's Coming

"...the main thing about Bells is that there is no resolve, and that's what that whole song was saying. Can't stop what's coming, can't stop what is on its way. All I can do is respond truthfully, and the concept that we'll always be friends, or we can always work it out, I would have bet you that I could have worked anything out with this person. I would have bet my hand I could have worked anything out. I'd be missing a hand right now. It'd be the one-armed Tori tour. I couldn't have foreseen this. And I think, how many people, in marriages or families, and they're going, 'Wait a minute. I'm a rational being. This is a rational being, so we think.' Of course, I'm a little -- I'm partial, but I would have thought, yes, we could work it out. And when it got to in the end 'blankettes,' and the spelling changed, and when I was writing it down, I did it 'blankettes' as in -- well, what it means to me is just blank women, chicks. Yet they were making mudpies and creating and it's void now. And if you talk to people that know her, they think she's a together, great babe. And if you talk to people that know me, I'm a together, great babe. And yet we just couldn't do it. So there is a triangle on this record of the betrayal of women. It's not just that relationship. It's many other things in the other tunes. But Bells is the spirit speaking, not the ego speaking, but the part of me that still loves a friend that for whatever reason you can't make a resolve. You just can't do it. The big lesson in this whole year has been that there isn't a resolve for many things. Life isn't about, well, if I just get to this mountain peak, it's over. There are like 5,000 peaks in the distance."
-- Tori; The Baltimore Sun, '94

Immigration

Hummus Wrap Recipe

This recipe features the Health Food of the Week: Alfalfa Sprouts!

Ingredients:
- 1 large tortilla (flour is fine but I like to use spinach or herb wraps when available for a little pizazz)
- 1/4 cup hummus
- 1/4 red pepper, diced
- 1/4 cup purple onion, cut into long strips
- a few slices of deli turkey (is totally just as tasty without for a vegetarian meal)
- 1/2 cup of some leafy green (I prefer romaine or spinach)
- a few pieces of diced up tomato, not too much to keep it from getting soggy
- a healthy handful of ALFALFA SPROUTS....these really make the wrap. trust.


Instructions (its so easy I feel silly calling it a recipe):
- warm wrap for 10-20 seconds in microwave to make it pliable
- spread hummus evenly across the inside of the wrap
- toss your ingredients a bit then dump them right onto the wrap
- fold the bottom first (crucial) and then tightly roll the rest up
- cut it in half diagonally or serve it whole like a burrito
- enjoy





Greatest thing about this recipe is that it is very versatile. It works with just about any vegetable you can think of so whatever you have on hand is fine. I've also tried this with mushroom, artichokes, avocados, zucchini....basically its really hard to mess this one up! Happy eating!

Health Food Of The Week

This week I have discovered a new favorite food, Alfalfa Sprouts! 

Alfalfa is known for having deep roots that can reach to depths of 20 to 30 feet, accessing nutrients not always available at the surface. So alfalfa sprouts offer distinct health benefits.

Facts

1. Alfalfa sprouts are rich in vitamins and minerals that help the development of bones. Alfalfa's contents include protein, calcium, carotene, iron, zinc and vitamins A, B1, C, E and K. Alfalfa can come in the form of seeds, leaves or tablets; however, consuming mature alfalfa sprouts offers the most benefits.

Antioxidants

2. Alfalfa sprouts are one of the most powerful plant sources of antioxidants. An antioxidant is a molecule that has the capacity of slowing down or even preventing the oxidation of other molecules, which can create free radicals. The presence of free radicals damages cells. Alfalfa helps prevent cancer and coronary heart disease because of its antioxidant properties; it also alleviates symptoms associated with menopause and osteoporosis.

Anti-Inflammatory

3. A compound in alfalfa sprouts inhibits inflammation, so they can be used to treat and manage pain by reducing swelling. Alfalfa sprouts are particularly useful for people with arthritis.

Immunity

4. The high saponin content in alfalfa sprouts give the immune system a boost. Saponin affects the intestinal tract by lowering bacterial population. Plus, the vitamins and minerals, particularly vitamin C, increase the body's ability to fight off infections. Alfalfa also increases the body's production of T-lymphcytes and interferon to improve immunity.

Disease

5. Alfalfa sprouts are also used to lower the accumulation of cholesterol in the liver. The plant estrogen found in alfalfa can improve the formation of bone and increase its density for people with degenerative bone diseases.

- Look to the next post for a yummy and healthy recipe using Alfalfa Sprouts!