World's Largest Gummy Bear

Oh snap, y'all.

I figured all the health-conscious posts needed something totally artery-clogging and unnecessary to balance them out. This should do it.

The World's Largest Gummy Bear is the lion of the candy world. 

There is no candy more magnificent or more powerful.

 

These are real. They are awesome. You can buy them.

Here are the mind-numbing facts of this colossal candy:

• It's the equivalent of 1,400 regular sized gummy bears. 
• It is a five pound beast which packs a whopping 12,600 calories.
• It's 9.5 inches tall.
• There are 90 servings per World's Largest Gummy Bear.
• It is also Gluten Free and has a 1 year shelf life

Its monstrous size is only matched by its enormous taste. The World's Largest Gummy Bear tastes just as delicious as its pint-sized counterpart. Available in many flavors: blue raspberry, red cherry, green apple, orange, pineapple and astro. Hand-made in the USA.

We'll admit that the World's Largest Gummy Bear (aka WLGB) is both disgusting and glorious.

The World's Largest Gummy Bear is not intended for one man to eat in one sitting (unless that one man happens to be Michael Phelps). We suggest you bust it out at a party or gnaw away at it for a few months (it will last up to a year!). If eaten in appropriate amounts, the WLGB probably won't kill you : )

Beware extreme emotional attachment

While it's quite common to treat your new bundle of deliciousness like a newborn baby, we must remind you that a World's Largest Gummy Bear is specifically designed for consumption. Nothing makes it happier than being eaten.

The following activities could lead to an unhealthy relationship with your WLGB:

Do not take your World's Largest Gummy Bear sight-seeing in your Baby Bjorn.	Do not teach your World's Largest Gummy Bear to play the piano.
Do not feed your WLGB regular-sized gummy bears. WLGBs are not cannibals!	Do not put the World's Largest Gummy Bear in a crib and sing him lullabies.

Click To Order Your Own Gummy Beast